conversations

conversations still with:

"my mom/dad said"

"my mom/dad thinks"

"i'll ask my parents"

"according to my mom/dad"

then followed by "..we should follow what they said (without trying out something else)."

does that sounds like you're still a katak dibawah tempurung?

youth is where you do and act things on your own.
there is no such thing as going on a trip together.
the day will come.
the day will come when none is
"scared because they talk in different language than us"
"people will abduct us"
"very expensive"
"have commitment"
"being like a tortoise under a coconut shell"

does no one understands the meaning of saving up?

work and no play

work has been well, very bad now.
can't believe 1 year ago i was all happy and naive.
got used and bullied and still smiling and laughing around.
then one pinpoint all those sore parts that i felt and forgot before.
and realised, those sore parts is not something that simple
this is how community changes a person
this is how work politics changes a person.

i enjoyed my work.
i enjoyed participating in production.
i enjoyed being in a place where everyday is an 'adventure'.
only these few rotten mites ruining the whole picture.

like i have had said many times and still not doing it
when i'm going crazy and on the verge of exploding into insanity,
i shall book a flight to anywhere in the world
and have a really long holiday.

it was that time

it was that time where i don't even wanna tell but still showing it so obviously, like a friend once told me "putting your heart on your sleeve"

now it's just coming out. it's been so long now. how are you doing where ever you are.
i still don't get myself why i'm still into you when you're so out of my league.

it is nice knowing you.

went wrong.

Dear whatever here,

Please let here be a place to remind me to not plan a 'surprise' birthday celebration. okay, maybe the bday girl doesn't want it or maybe she's taking care of her weight, or she's just not in the mood or she's feeling shy on having people celebrating for her and treating her dinner or she's just being difficult.

no really, it's a celebration prior to her upcoming bday in a few days time, it's all okay, it's cool, yep real smooth. yeah because it's not the girl's fault to suddenly come and said "eat. eat. i'm not hungry, you guys eat la. i'm still full from lunch (at 1pm, dinner 6pm). i'll get fat with today's food, you know my lunch is so fattening already" yup, we all understands, yup yup. because we didn't tell her we're treating her right. yeap.

i don't know what's your problem but alright. we understand. yeap we so really are.

then let me sit alone there eating dinner and thinking what have i done, feeling guilty for dragging you and doing all these, i'm so not a good planner, i'm so not a good friend. i apologise for giving you such event.

i'm still feeling optimistic on all these okay, it's just not the right day or something.
but i still gotta say that all you nutrition students cum fake health conscious freaks to hell with your words on "owh, this grilled chicken is so oily, i need another empty place to separate the oil with the chicken" or " owh, gone la my LDL (low density lipoprotein cholesterol)" or "i need to run another few more hours on the treadmill" or "this soups is so salty (no, it's pizza hut's mushroom soup with no taste at all)" or "the food just now is so salty, i feel like eating something sweet to balance up" or "the food just now is so sweet i need something sour to balance up" or "this fried chicken is so oily i'm using tissue to suck up all the oils" kinda nonsense.

one more of these nonsense, i swear i will flip anything within reach.

i don't care if you take care of your health or what ever, but seriously? all health conscious and no fun? just get out of here.

minor minor minor slipped disk.

slipped disk is where people who carry heavy things daily or old people that is prone to getting.

i had this real minor slipped disk. looks pathetic because it is so minor. but it's making my back real stiff and pain. and a physio told me that i had swollen back muscles. yep, swollen back muscles because i haven't had any exercise for the past year.

now i'm going for a weekly physio to relax the back muscles and doing this light stretching. looks like a fitness club membership must be in my list now. or maybe i could just go for a group aerobics around my area every sunday morning. and no more slouching. i'm slouching now, can't help it.

plus doing MRI is..really stiff. you can't move at all for a few intervals. at most 6 mins for not moving. i had this image that was totally blurred out, must be because i had this sudden intake of breath. 

p/s: physio doctor was so cool she talked out of topic and start discussing about facial skin condition. caught me off guard but it was great.

feeling wasted

not living up to the fullest lately.
have the need to go lepak at some cafes and had this urge to travel alone.