i knew it

car accidents whether it's major or minor or just some run over a small cement log barrier could break your friendship.
that's if one's not sporting enough to forget.

its like it's in a rocky stage with tensions in the air especially when we're in the same group  for an assignment and it quite last minute. one moment she's asking me to do this this and that, and then in one turn around, she said she'll do it herself? i know she had that urgency personality where once they're in stress and tension mode, they'll want everything to work and to be done that minute they asked.
and i asked so much explanation cause i have no idea what she's talking about and she ended giving up and said she'll do it herself.

hmm i hope this coming long weekend break and her absence from uni because of some family matters will settle the tensions between us.
i so want to skip all the classes tomorrow and jump on the bus to Terengganu first thing in the morning for a weekend escape. though it's not considered an escape, at least it's not in uni.

 feeling like just drop whatever i have and doing now and just run away.

hm.

did something happen in that 6 hours when i'm not around?

 what's with the cold treatment?

(they must've found out about my blogg)

*that's what i've always think anyway*

well, whatever i complained was the truth anyway.

go feel butthurt yourself

no, i don't want it to happen again

somehow, everytime if i went out with just a friend, accidents tend to happen. and it's always involve automobile.

we went to Teluk Cempedak (the one and only nearest and clear beach that have McDonald's 24 hours and it's Kuantan's hotspot for youngters to well..lepak and date.) so i drove (yes i drove) and she sat at the side. she doesn't have the license but i trusted her and give her the wheel  since she said she drove a number of times before..well..a minor accident happened but it's just only accidentally going over a small cement barrier from the parking space. so it kinda scraped the bottom car abit which i don't see any dent (still hoping there's none) as we used our friend's car. i told her directly after that that i can't really let go giving her taking the wheel again and so we changed place..i wonder if she terasa or not..
so it reminds me back about 1 year ago on about the accident..
there's awkwardness between us at first. well, any girl would make mistake of forgetting to reverse and instead going straight and knock something in front. i almost did that twice. but soon after it's fine. but i'm still afraid cause you won't know what'll happen in a few weeks time. maybe she'll distance away from me. i try to 'smallen' the gap of the awkwardness but i'm not sure if i did..

i don't want that 1 year incident to happen again. losing another friend just because of some stupid accident. my fault yeah. stupid awkwardness.

maybe i'll just avoid going out with just 2 people that's all. sigh..

missings

oh ooo blogger changes its template.


another more week to go before he flies off to india.
i must say, we don't have a good relationship.
never once we do not bicker and try to piss each other off.
once we did, everything will set fire and my parents will come into action. we're in our 20's now. and it still never change.

but i'll surely miss that fella. i don't even know when is his next first semester break.
that pampered guy who never wash dishes and clothes.
i wonder what he'll do.

can't help thinking that the date's getting nearer and mom even don't allow me to go back at all to say goodbye.
i don't know why i'm being emotional with a brat like him.

oh wells.

btw, just had my FYP presentation yesterday and in my opinion, i done it so informally with all the laugh instead of the monotone presentation. don't even feel that it's the best.
however, my Bionanotechnology lecturer who's one of the panels said that he really enjoyed my presentation and it is "a very interesting presentation". okayy. and he gave me the highest marks among everyone in the room. what do i say? yay~ is what i say. hehe
(i really have to let this out. its not always i get praises from lecturers together with getting the highest marks at the same time LOL)

aren't my troubles, but i find it not understandable

i don't see why ptptn loans must be abolished. (okay, just because i didn't apply for it i don't feel the impact)

but i asked someone

"what does it makes you first apply for ptptn?"
she said " cause if i didn't apply, and if i use my parents money, they will not have enough for the month"

"okayy. then why do you said that when returning back the money and it becomes so scary like ptptn staffs are almost equal to loan sharks then? i don't understand"
she said,"because when we give back during the first few months it's okay but when it comes to almost finishing giving back they become very scary (or 'aggressive').

" but why at the back it is almost aggressive? how they can be when you're paying back very diligently? why? is it they drag the time?"
she said, "uh..yeah..like got some maybe the forgot to pay back or give back after a short time"

"there. that's why they acted like that la. they pay halfway and suddenly they don't pay. any people who lends money and suddenly you don't pay they will definitely treat you like how a loan shark treat a person."


that's why i said, not only ptptn is like that. try taking loan off from banks. and there goes your house.

am i right then? is it not common sense?

sometimes it's really frustrating

sometimes i wish i could just fall sick.
i'm feeling hot and sickly and tired,
but i never fall sick.
it's quite frustrating really, when you have all those signs of falling sick,
and you ended up still being healthy.

i don't want any headache or a hot forehead or a blurry vision (even though i'm wearing specs)
i just wanna get sick for once and get out of it.
*sigh*

btw, another tourney's coming up and leg's being bad again.
it still hurts.

thank you daddy =)

dad's advice must be taken and keep. lol

thank you papa for not letting me apply ptptn loan. i was insisting it last 3 years ago with reasons to lessen the burden on my dad's expenses on us and he scolded me for suggesting it and said "no you no need to apply loan. i can pay it for you."

now, i am reallyyyyyy glad that he said that now seeing all the fuss in applying and paying back to ptptn.

the truth now is that i'm listening to my roommates discussion on the loan after they had got back from a talk on how to pay back with 'faedah's' and 'percentage' and due date and limit months... i seriously do not understand one bit.

sorry loh i'm such ignorant person that i don't bother to know how to apply loan.

i rather not.

home

mom doesn't allow me to go back at the end of the month.
=(

"i can take the bus ah"
"anyone going to take the bus together?"
"nope"
"like that stay there. no need to come back"

whyyyyy??
iwannagobackhomee

what's this?

what's with news about my uni seniors getting all desperate to taste love before graduating?

i don't wanna hear anymore about some random guy that you want to introduce me to.

leave me alone!

yea i wish huh

i wish to have a another half so i can go away for holiday with the other half too.

oh wells.

sorry la too lonely with my roommate that had just abandoned me to go to her other half's house to meet his parents. lol

positive thinking. at least i can sing loudly in the room now.

of a friend's passing and Ash and Fudge

was on the way to the car when i got a message from a friend.

all i saw was "you know haridah..." on the message preview. when i tapped on it, she wasn't asking me for haridah's number or to ask if she keep in touched or anything. it came out as "you know haridah passed away today? sharon told me today" and i stopped in my tracks.

my friend and colleague in my first ever job in kindy. the one who endured the scoldings and shoutings from That Woman. the one who i gladly helped to ease the working burden by preparing soem stuffs for her. the one who called me up last time just for the fun of it. the one who opened up her heart to me and i tried to help but i don't know how. the one who teaches me everything.

she passed away in the morning of 3rd of April. i don't know why or how. i just know that she passed away all of the sudden that i still doesn't wanna accept the truth. i still have her number with me in my phone. i don't know what to do with it. i should've keep in touch when i thinks about her last time. i didn't because i'm afraid and i don't know what to talk with her after so long. and now i regret it. no more Haridah. no more thoughts of getting to keep in touch.

she's special. she's not a malay but she have a malay name. she's chindian and she talks better hokkien than me. she have this sore-throat voice that i still kinda remembers.

i'll miss her.
i miss you. do you know that, Haridah? and i'm worried about her kids, them without any parents now.
may you rest in peace, Haridah.

Haridah, 2009
taken by Somkiet who was playing with my phone

plus, from M-R's Fb, i got to know that Ash and Fudge passed away too. no more Ash and Fudge to look forward to anymore. more licking on the face, no more walking next to you when you walk around the Cleft. miss you.

Fudge
(i don't have a picture of Ash. why?)