i know la it's FYP..but

 "*** ingt nk rehat, x nk dtg lab isnin ni. make sure awk, ***, ***** dh buat dlu tau, gram staining.. selase tu *** buat gram staining + bacterial culture dlm broth sekali gus"\

oh so now you ordering people to do what you want them to do so you can do your stuff the next day? you think the lab belongs to your ancestors ah missy? if you want to ask also cannot ask nicely and politely?

sigh if i lose all patience with this fella i'm sure to have replied something sarcastic or say her straight just now. what kind of people that i find during FYP times. double sigh. dah la same group.


MENYAMPAH.

misunderstood

friendzoned and jealousy.

so glad

i'm so so glad that the wheatberries grew! i used up the whole packet of it and it some how managed to grow alot that i have enough for the bacteria isolation.

and one thing that makes my day today, the spreading to isolate the bacteria was perfect =)
it was all beautiful and i wasn't expected it to be isolated nicely. i expect some weird agar distortions or some fungus growing on it or something. but i was so happy after taking out the plates from the incubator! hehehe

finally i get to start on the FYP. i did some streaking today after the spreading. i don't think it'll go well since i wasn't putting much concentration in doing it.

btw, i caught my classmate red-handedly taking stuffs from my group's bench. it was just some parafilm that we cut and stored so we can use anytime we want. i saw her taking it, but i don't wanna be so 'pointy fingers' and at the same time i wanted to use the parafilm as well. i went and find for it where i last left it on the shelf but it was gone. so i went and try asking her if she saw my group's parafilm.
omg you should see her face, it was so fake, with the shoulder action and everything, "oh no, tak, saya tak nampak". so fine, since she's lazy to cut for herself, i 'donated' it to her. and i saw another fella opening my group's storage box to take the bunsen burner from our box and other people's boxes. talk about no privacy.

oh well, at least they didn't do any other things that's fine with me.

all in all, i forgive you because i'm so happy with my spreading technique. ^^v

keep calm

okay, i finished up the last of the wheat berries that mom bought.
all i have now is to wait, pray and hope that it will grow in the next 3 days at least.
if things go smoothly, i thank God.
if things are what i'm afraid of, i might have to wait and get new wheat berries and start all over with 1 or 2 week(s) wasted.

all i have to do is to keep my mind clear, and remind myself that this wheat berries need longer time to grow.

i almost gone mental man.

These are the wheat berries and the amount that i used
fyi, this is after i threw the first one that fail..sigh

These are the ones that does grow after I separated it out

Now you know why I'm feeling desperate. I didn't know FYP would be this..well unexpected. all i need now is a miracle for me to be able to start on my work..

For this few months I felt so disturbed and confused with everything that's happening. Bro's like duno how many thousand miles away, my sister's problems, grandma had surgery on her knee, grandad's being weak now he can't stand up for longer periods, a cousin got married that i didn't attend, another cousin getting married that i might not able to attend, and i don't even know how's mom and dad's doing since they never would want to tell me if they're good or bad..no wonder i couldn't focus in the lab and kept on breaking and dropping glasswares.

now i know why

i was really looking forward to do my FYP after the finals. but it all came crashing down on me when i got to know that it might take up another 3 more months.

i haven't even stepped into the house ever since February and now i might have to stay here until after August?

and my wheatberries aren't really helping out now. i made the first batch to ferment, but it didn't sprout after 3 days and i threw it away and did a new batch. i hope it's growing.

now i know why some people might cry because their project's not working. i'm so desperate for my wheatberries to grow i wish i have some magic beans that grow overnight.

plus my groupmate is just so irritating bugging me in the middle of some experiment, standing so near to me saying "oh, i just want to see how you're doing it then i'll follow your steps."
man, i borrowed those library books out for you just to have you followed the steps from the manual like i'm doing can't you get the hint?
and then after quite some time, she'll say, "i'm waiting for mei yin la. she's doing it so long i can't even have my turn." dang it you. i told you do to it on your own no? now you wanna blame me. darn rite bugger.

now i'm frustrated because after gram staining all i get was cocci in purple stain instead of rod in purple stain. what happened to my Lactobacillus? now i wanna cry.

worse, i wanna go back home at least to just see mom and dad's face. they're worrying already on why haven't i been able to come back home for 5 months now. i'm feeling like some sabahan or sarawakian student at the moment.

independent

i guess sometimes being independent is good too.

i, myself who never did any organising or packing things up except for the long semester break, finally have to do everything for myself from packing, sealing, storing, and cleaning.

when the boxes goes into the store until the next semester, i feel so glad that i did all these. hehe

yeah well, this comes from a person that is truly pampered at home where i practically don't have to lift a finger to take heavy boxes. alrite?

bye~

harsh?

i guess mom's being very harsh on me. i still can't get my hair dyed, she still nags me about my exam because i can't do well, i practically have the same restrictions before i entered uni.

i'm not sure maybe it's because i'm the oldest and i have to be more responsible or something.

maybe she have her reasons.

but why does my sister got the approval to have pink stripes on her hair? haiz

i shall go live on like an innocent,responsible child. thank you

cleaning up people's leftovers

i'm tired of always cleaning up other people's mess. i sometimes unconsciously or knowingly or worse, willingly volunteered cleaning up their mess that they've made whether it's big or small.

why i did that i have no idea why? is it pity? or just plain naive? or that i don't have my own standing?

and i always give in to what people wants and requests.
still can't learn how to say no, and will never learn.

funny thing is that i feel happy or glad that i actually did something for people. i'm not actually complaining, i was just wondering why i can't be more tough.

being 23 and still not being matured is not what i was thinking of last time.
feeling bored and went and disturb your classmate when you're suppose to be studying for finals, have childish conversations, having grudges to people who you're uncomfortable with..that is so un-matured.

my idea of being matured is to be more polite and manners, have less grudges, doesn't smile for no reason on the way to the toilet just because there's something nice happening in facebook or any teenager-ry stuffs and more serious in exams.

and no crapping. what am i crapping any way now? bye.

when i'm not there

the guilt, when your sister is crying wanting to go back and feeling all scared being alone

when you are having fun with your friends and laughing away.

if only i could find a guardian angel to help me take care of her i would give up anything.

i just hopes she gets to learn to be alone and find friends to be with her..