smart left-handed

they say left-handed are smart people.
they say left-handed will strive.


i'm a left-hander.
i don't feel smart.
and i do work worse than other people.
lies.

unsure

i still wasn't sure of what i want. i know it's just an internship, and most of my friends are saying just accept what you got it's just practical. some are saying that i'm choosy.

yeah well, i take internship as a place to kickstart my career. i plan to get attached to a particular company right after my internship ends.
though i love to take up masters, but i don't think i'm able to.


i'm not sure if i could do quality controls, or in medical industry. i like to be in the medical industry, it's just that i'm not sure if i could go far as in do different things after a few years.
i duno la i'm so confused. i shall go lay down and think.

wrong

i had issues going with my practical.
thanks to the ones who helped me out throughout my decision making. at least i'm not so worried anymore.

it happens because i have this bad habit of not being able to decide what's best for me.


btw,
i've been walking around with short shorts (hey, not short la, it's just only until up to half of my thigh) just for one day. i have my menses (yes go eww eww like i care) and i don't feel like wearing pants that's tight. my track pants was quite tight, and i'm very lazy to change into it when i have to go down to the block just for some brief thing.

a friend called because she wanted her bus ticket that i bought for her. it was just a "hi, i give you, you pay me, bye, see you on sunday" thing that's only gonna take 5-10mins. and so i ran down to the parking lot to meet her and i get this honk from these people 5 mins later because my legs are offensive. it's not my first time wear shorts outside of the hostel compound and what's with today? plus those girls nearby been bitching me like i didn't hear it. what's up man?

no i'm not racist, and yes i know why they reacted like that and i respected that because once they saw aurat, they will be berdosa. okay la, fine, but hey, my friends are saying it's okay for me to wear shorts (outside of the uni compound. and in the uni compund, but that's breaking the rules) because i'm not a muslim. i mean, it is okay, like i don't know. but i did wore it to the night market which is outside the uni compund, and i get all these stares. even an imam was muttering something behind me.

what's the difference between my shorts (that's very baggy, but short) and a woman who wore clothes that are so tight, every single curves are noticable?

sighs. i will wear long pants from now on.

so sorry. i don't like wearing long pants it's because i can't the stand hot weather, especially when that pants is tight. and no, i got no other pants thanks. i even rolled up my slacks in class because everyone was saying that the class is so cold, they switched off the air conditioning (no it's not cold, it's just cooling. for 4 years, this still goes on and i can never understand).

before bedtime

sequencing just came back from korea.

none of my samples are lactobacillus. boohoo.
i felt so stupid, thinking what did i did throughout my final year project.
then i got rejected to be able to go training with this company that i so wanted to get in. anyway it's hard to get in to that company, i know, but i just wanna try.

[random]
i've been looking through some ACS photos from this group in fb. i found an album that it says 2007 but i think it's the year before i came in cause i don't see anyone of my friend's in there.

i like my long hair =3
it's rough poufy frizzy wavy. i like it long now instead of short.
and it reminds me be back why i have it long. all those reasons. nvm.

btw, good night. there's class, internship hunting, and of course thesis.

laziness

now lab work's done. all that's left is the thesis. i couldn't get a head start to continue / repair my thesis.
i've done bits of here and there on the different chapters, but i know that there's still loads to do.

i've been sitting around trying to find work when work is just right in front of me. i guess i just don't really like paperwork. paperwork is always my weakness ever since high school. my folio always got the lowest.

there's not much assignments to do. but but but...i hate this feeling of being so empty, so carefree. intense adrenaline where are you? i need to get back on my workkkkk. sighs.


or maybe i just wanna focus on getting my internship first before getting on with other things? deadline's near now, i haven't got any place yet. there's some answers, but i'm still waiting, hoping to get the ones that i wanted real bad.